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Thoughts from a Musician's Heart


I’ve always had performance anxiety. It’s been a source of frustration, but somehow I became a career musician anyway. Around 2013, I began to have some very unusual but completely clear visions from God while performing at the MasterWorks Festival. The first one was the appearance of a face on the piano fallboard during a solo recital. It was accompanied by an almost overwhelming sense of peace, joy, and love that I thought could only be the presence of the Almighty God. Then a man with blond hair began to appear, bringing grace and peace. It seemed he must be Jesus…

Just before Thanksgiving in 2014, one of my former university piano teachers was killed in a car accident. I knew she was a believer, and I was confident that she was in the presence of God for eternity.

Only a few months later, my mother had a massive stroke. Eventually we had to make the decision to take her off the ventilator. When the time came, I anticipated that I would feel my mother’s spirit leave her body and enter heaven, but I did not sense anything. I only watched as her body took on the ashen color of death – something I had previously heard about but never witnessed. I had been a believer since I was a child, but I found myself wondering if anything I believed about God and eternal life was true.

One of my parent’s doctors told me not to be surprised if I got a visit from my mother - that it would be real. I began to beg God, even demand that if everything that I believed was real, He must send me some way to know that my mother was alive with Him.

On April 12, I was scheduled to perform again in Winona Lake. As you can imagine, it was the last thing I was interested in doing and I certainly did not feel prepared. After preparing in the hall and getting ready for the performance, I sat down at the piano in the MasterWorks building. Suddenly, the blond-headed Jesus came to my mind and I sarcastically muttered that it would be a good time for Him to make another appearance.

Almost immediately, the vision came again. The blond-headed Jesus appeared, and this time He was holding hands WITH MY MOTHER! And just to make sure that I knew this was real, the two of them were holding hands with my dear piano teacher who had died. I knew then that it was all true, and that God had given me just what I needed to believe and trust Him again.

I knew that the appearance of this blond-headed Jesus several years earlier was all a part of His plan, because in His infinite knowledge, He knew that I would come to this crisis point in my faith. I will always believe and trust Him, because he has been so faithful to me, especially when I have needed Him the most.

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