Thoughts from a Musician's Life

WHAT IS A GENERATIVE LIFE? by Christine Pulliam Melamed

This year I have lost three pianist mentors. You may know Roslyn Langlois from Masterworks. Also recently, Sylvia Scott, a much-admired pianist from the Indianapolis Symphony and mentor of mine since my childhood, passed away from cancer. And most recently was the shock of the unexpected death of my great piano teacher Panayis Lyras. 

These losses have made me feel like a musical orphan and have made me examine what I want my life to be known for. I often find myself being dragged down by competitive comparison as a musician, discontent that I haven’t reached certain ideals. 

But recently I read something that caused me to question my metric for what makes a successful life. 

I read a book last year called Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser. The most striking part of the book has stuck with me, that of living a generative life as the highest goal of spiritual maturity. 

“The mark of a very mature disciple of Jesus, and the mark of someone truly giving his or her life away is this: he or she is a person who blesses others and blesses the world, just as God does and just as Jesus did….To fully bless someone is to give up some life for that person, to die for him or her in some real way…When our motivation for doing things is more concerned with others than with ourselves.”

I found this challenge both inspiring and a relief. Why is this the highest calling of discipleship? Because we were made in God’s image and he is the ultimate generator- he created the world, he gives endless gifts, and he sent his son to give the ultimate gift. To follow in what we were designed for, we must strive to be generative, not hoarding for ourselves. However, our default impulse in life is often ME FIRST, and this mindset is often encouraged by our culture. 

To be generative is to not live just for myself. ‘Generative’ has many connotations, many possible examples. One can be generative on the stage, as a teacher, or behind the scenes doing paperwork. It is ultimately about how our choices affect others rather than serving ourselves. 

Doesn’t the term “generative” seem like such a relief? Instead of being competitive and striving for the highest in our career and inevitably being discouraged and discontent, we can choose to believe that greatness in life isn’t measured in awards, titles or impressive bios. It’s measured in how we generate blessings for others.

All the work we are called to - it ALL has value. The budget spreadsheets for arts admin, the patient listening to a slow piano student as they struggle to master something that seems so easy to you, the church job, the neighborhood volunteering, the small decisions that no one sees - these can all be generative and give life back to the world. This can help relieve us from burnout cycles and overwork. One of the best books I’ve read in the past few years is The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. The cornerstone of his thesis is the verse in I Thess. 4:11: “...make it your ambition to live a simple life.”

As musicians it’s too easy to compare and feel inadequate because we don’t have the career of someone else. It’s also easy to resent the things that appear to hold us back in our career - family, natural talent, opportunities and finances. But I’m learning that God’s measure of greatness isn’t in our prestige, but rather that we show his generative nature to others. 

There is another musician from my life I’ve decided to see as a role model: Mr. Rogers. We were at his alma mater in Winter Park, Florida and found the quote that he had photographed and carried around with him: “Life is for Service.” It struck me that even though he had a very successful career and influenced countless children, his ambition wasn’t to be famous, but rather to serve. 

There is a part of me that is fearful that if I make service my life focus I will end up a doormat or a forgotten mediocre musician. I’m afraid that when I see those who made it higher than me in their career I’ll feel inferior and ashamed. Or maybe I’ll become lazy and quit practicing! A generative life never excuses complacency, laziness, abuse or injustice. But competitive comparison is a deadly poison. Generating blessings for others is the abundant life.